Archie Sonic Issue #1 (Original Miniseries)

 

This cover was always my favorite out of the 4 in this original miniseries. It feels exactly like the kind of thing you'd see as an advertisement for SatAM... aside from the fact that Sally's design still isn't quite right, but hey, we'll get there eventually... in Issue 16 of the main book after this miniseries... *sigh*

While we're on that note, you may have noticed that Robotnik on this cover now properly has his signature black and red eyes, but unfortunately, they still haven't quite figured that one out in the actual comic yet, so for the rest of this miniseries, he's stuck with a slightly less sinister black and white. It's definitely an improvement, but between both of these design errors, we clearly still have some work to do before we have a solid foundation for this book.

Thankfully, that's exactly the name of the game for this issue. After Issue 0 served as a basic introduction to Mobius and the conflict between Sonic and Robotnik, Issue 1 sees Gallagher attempt to more properly establish the Freedom Fighters' personalities and how they play off each other as a group. I say "attempt" to, because... well, let's just get right into it, with the first story:

"Run, Sally, Run!" I... think that's the most normal sounding title we've had so far. Huh. And it also immediately brings to mind this song from Phineas and Ferb, which will now be playing on loop in my head for the rest of this review:

Funny coincidence how that song also involves a character running at super speed... anyway, back on topic:

So, 2 quick positives to note on this first page. First, Scott Shaw is back once again for the art, which is as solid as ever. Second, we have our first quick scene properly establishing the Sonic and Tails duo, which has always been one of the most endearing dynamics in the whole franchise... when done correctly (*glares at Lost World and Forces*). It's just really heartwarming watching their brotherly bond, with Sonic as the older, confident hero and Tails as the sidekick trying to live up to his hero while also forging his own path. Now, there will definitely be some stories down the line from Gallagher that will definitely struggle with this, mainly on the Tails side of things, but for the most part this issue does their friendship justice.

The next page then immediately spoils my good mood when Sonic asks Sally what's she doing out in the Great Forest, and she responds by screaming "none of your business" in his face and storming off with no explanation. First of all, rude. Second of all, that was a perfectly valid question for Sonic to ask considering you're all supposed to be hiding out from Robotnik at all times, so EXCUSE him for being concerned for your wellbeing, Princess. 

Oh, but it gets worse. Sonic, with no evidence whatsoever, immediately deduces that Sally's bad mood is somehow Antoine's fault, because as established last issue, Sonic seriously has it out for this guy on account of his supposedly massive ego... which is some serious "pot calling the kettle black" nonsense, but I digress. 

So Sonic and Tails head back to the secret entrance, but when they go to open it, they accidentally stumble on Antoine just as he was coming out of it. Tails very helpfully explains this out loud for no reason other than Gallagher's insistence on using constant exposition in every panel to point out the blatantly obvious. I swear I don't want to point this out every time it happens, but I bring it up here because even Sonic seems to agree with me, outright saying, "Tell me something I DON'T know!" So, Mike, you're AWARE of how insane it is for these characters to explain every single detail like this, but you still insist on having them do it anyway? WHY!?

Anyway, Antoine hands the duo a royal decree from Sally explaining that she's heading to Robotropolis to negotiate with Robotnik for the return of her father, King Acorn, and that she doesn't want anyone to interfere. Sonic understandably freaks out at how stupid of an idea that is, but I'm more stuck on the fact that she handed this note out to Antoine, presumably to give out to Sonic and Tails, rather than, oh I don't know, telling them directly like a normal person? Or, better yet, if you don't want anyone to interfere, just don't send a decree out at all, and no one will know what you're up to in the first place. 

Sonic runs off, dragging Tails and Antoine along with him, to save Sally from her blatantly suicidal mission, with Sonic and Antoine actually showing some decent comradery for the first time, thinking she's under attack from a Buzzbomber... only for Sally to force them to stop, as it's all part of her plan and blah-blah-blah this is stupid. I do actually like the panel in the top right here of Buzzbomber with the little halo above his head, it's cute, but good grief this entire conflict is ridiculous. I'm not even going to question how or why Robotnik set up this random cage that conveniently traps the heroes, because I'm too annoyed at Sally's insanely stupid plan to care. I know that sounds harsh, but trust me, we haven't even gotten to the dumbest part yet.

Buzzbomber drops Sally off in one of Robotnik's factories and surprise, surprise, Robotnik didn't keep his word. He has his Swatbots grab Sally to roboticize her, she starts screaming for help, and... hold on a minute, what does that say?

"Assembled in Mexico"? Like, not some fictional Mobian place, just... straight up Mexico. I know this seems like a minor point to bring up, but way later down the road, we learn that Mobius is actually a post-apocalyptic Earth. Obviously, that's years after this issue, and Gallagher had nothing to do with that story decision, but goodness it makes this absolutely bonkers in hindsight. I don't remember if they establish anything where Mexico would have been on Mobius, so unless they did, I'm going to run with the idea that Mexico is still somehow recognized as a country despite not existing for eons at this point. That's a way funnier concept than anything else this story has to offer.

Sonic predictably charges through, destroying the Swatbots and the roboticizer while Antoine pickpockets Robotnik's gun with help from Tails. It's here that we officially get confirmation that Robotnik did in fact set up that cage earlier specifically to prevent the heroes from interfering, which... OK fine, now I'll question it. How in MEXICO did you know that the 3 of them would stand in that specific spot to get trapped by it? How do you even know that they got IN that cage, seeing that we see exactly 0 robots surveying the area? And lastly, how did you NOT anticipate that Sonic would cut through it, like he does literally everything else you build? That's almost as bad as that one scene in Sonic Unleashed when Eggman asks how Sonic caught up to him so quickly. Almost.

Also, while I do appreciate Sonic and Antoine cooperating this time around (and I ignore that awful "Twosday" pun for the sake of my sanity), how exactly does Tails "assist" Antoine pickpocketing Robotnik? Like, that feels like a one-man job, right? Did they BOTH get a hold of the gun at the same time? That kind of feels like it would defeat the idea of Antoine as "the best" if he needed Tails to help and- OK I'm officially thinking way too hard about this. Moving on.

The heroes head back to Knothole with Sally, who seems awfully grumpy for someone whose life was just saved, and when they get back, Rotor asks if her plan went well, and she invokes Murphy's Law by saying "everything that could go wrong did go wrong". When Sonic is understandably baffled by this, she reveals what her REAL plan all along was, which... it's... something.

So... so Sally WANTED to be thrown in the roboticizer, because... Rotor designed special boots for her to wear, so that when that happened, they could jam the machine and analyze it to learn how exactly it works. She would then take this data to learn how to reverse the roboticizer's effects, thus saving everyone Robotnik turned into robots. Uh... OK...

Hey Sally, can I ask you a question? Or rather, MULTIPLE questions!?

1. What were you going to do if Robotnik decided to take off your boots? If he can apparently predict Sonic's actions to the point of having a random cage in the middle of nowhere to spring on him, it's entirely possible he could have predicted you had something like this up your sleeve and acted accordingly.

2. How did you know for sure those boots were going to work? It's not like you had any other roboticizers to test them on, or else that defeats the entire purpose behind this plan. And if you DIDN'T know for sure that they were going to work, that's even worse! You were essentially gambling your life on a COIN TOSS!

3. What if the technology worked as intended, but then you got stuck in there, and Robotnik used his Swatbots to kill you/take the boots away and roboticize you? How did you plan on getting out of THAT one?

4.  If the goal was to stop the others from interfering, why did you:

a. Send out a royal decree alerting them to the fact you were marching straight to Robotnik? All that does is call attention you don't want and makes them think you're falling into a trap.

b. Not explain in said royal decree what your secret plan was? This is the most egregious point of all for me. There is literally no reason not to explain yourself to Sonic and the others aside from plain, reckless stubbornness.

On that infuriating note, we end this mess of a story. It's a real shame, because most of the character stuff in this was actually solid and felt like Gallagher was starting to get a feel for these characters. Sonic and Tails's brotherhood dynamic was good as I already mentioned, Antoine actually got some decent action and got along with them well, Rotor is now being established as the team mechanic... and then Sally brings the whole thing crashing down.

For the record, I actually really like Sally's character in this comic. When written correctly, she's a solid leader for the team, and her relationship with Sonic can actually be really compelling. But this is the first of many, MANY instances of how badly her character can come across when the writers at Archie don't know how to write her properly. I strongly disagree with the anti-Sally crowd, but it's hard to really blame them when stuff like this happens on a semi-regular basis in the pre-Ian Flynn era.

With that nonsense out of the way, let's move on to the second story that will hopefully be significantly less frustrating:

"Something Fishy!"

Rather predictably based on the title, we open up with Sonic fishing, and- WAIT WHERE IS BIG!? YOU WENT FISHING AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE HIM!? YOU MONSTER!

Oh wait, he doesn't exist yet... alright, carry on.

So Sonic is fishing all by himself, and I'm definitely still not upset about it, until that little robot fish in the water bites into his fishing pole and into the dock, with Sonic quickly spotting some of Robotnik's machinery nearby polluting the water and deducing that the doctor is up to no good once again. The robot drops him into the water, and we get a nice little game reference here with a nice little recreation of the water slide from Labyrinth Zone:

Props to Scott Shaw for the art once again, this is some good stuff. It's not a 1-1 replica or anything, but I kind of prefer that, it lets the comic universe stick out on its own... and I don't have to fully relive my Sonic 1 PTSD this way. It's a win-win!

Sonic chases the robot into a nearby cavern until he's caught in a net and dragged towards an underwater roboticizer (how many of these things does Robotnik have?), and we get an actually mildly amusing scene with Rotor and Tails as they meet up at Sonic's fishing spot:

I just love the fact that Rotor not only conveniently had this submarine up and ready to go at a moment's notice, but that he hauled it ALL the way here by himself without any help from Tails even though he was literally right there ready to help. It's ruined a bit by Tails's "sub-plot" pun, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

Back over to Sonic, he tears through the net, which shouldn't be a surprise since he cut through solid metal last story (seriously Robotnik, get some stronger material), but the effort seemingly drains him of all his oxygen. Cue the drowning music!

No, of course, Rotor and Tails come to save him, and at this point I'm not even going to question the fact that Sonic is talking to them before he soaks up the air bubbles because after that last story, I'm frankly just tired and ready to be done. He smashes the roboticizer, the robot fish (who I neglected to mention until now is called "Jaws", which is a bit on the nose but that's actually something from the games so whatever) retreats back to Robotnik, and we're done here.

So overall, this issue was... not great.

Sure, the art was solid throughout, and the second story was some short, harmless fun with some nice game references thrown in, but that first story with Sally was so obnoxious that this issue was kind of a bust for me. On some level, I want to cut Gallagher some slack because we're still clearly dealing with some growing pains in this era, but there will eventually start to be a time when that's no longer a valid excuse. As much as I love this comic as a whole, this very first era has always been one of the weakest to me, and rereading this issue was a very painful reminder of why. The stories just aren't all that fleshed out, and a lot of the jokes really fall flat for me personally.

But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Tune in next time for Issue 2, and we'll see if things improve.